Nigerian Man Advises Men: Live With Partner Five Years and Have Children Before Legal Marriage
A Nigerian man, Ayo Ayorinde, has sparked discussion by advising men not to enter into legal marriage with women until they have lived together for at least five years and the woman has borne children. He made these remarks on Wednesday, March 4, while responding to a marriage therapist's post about how marrying the wrong woman can devastate a man's life.
Detailed Recommendations for Pre-Marital Cohabitation
According to Ayo, a man should cohabit with his intended bride for a minimum of five years. During this period, he suggests that the woman must demonstrate qualities such as peacefulness, supportiveness, and faithfulness. Additionally, she should have given birth to one or two children. Only after fulfilling these conditions, Ayo asserts, should a man proceed to legally marry her.
He emphasized that this approach allows men to thoroughly assess a partner's character and compatibility before making a lifelong commitment.
Controversial Claim About Women's Intentions
Ayo also made a bold claim, stating that approximately 95% of women engage in pretense to achieve marriage. He argued that many women hide their true personalities or intentions during courtship, only revealing their real selves after the wedding. This, he believes, leads to marital discord and unhappiness for men.
"Living together and having children first acts as a test to see if she is genuine and committed," Ayo explained, suggesting that this method reduces the risk of entering a problematic marriage.
Reactions and Broader Context
This advice has generated mixed reactions online, with some supporting the idea as a practical safeguard, while others criticize it for undermining trust and traditional marriage values. The discussion highlights ongoing debates about relationship dynamics, gender roles, and the evolving nature of partnerships in contemporary society.
By Linda Ikeji at 04/03/2026 1:01 PM | Share this Story
