Teniola Aladese's Provocative Question Ignites National Debate on Gender Roles
Nigerian actress Teniola Aladese has sparked a fiery national conversation about domestic responsibilities in modern households with her recent comments questioning why housework remains predominantly viewed as women's work. Her remarks, made during an appearance on the podcast "That's What She Said," have resonated deeply across social media platforms and dinner tables nationwide.
The Unbalanced Reality of Nigerian Domestic Life
Imagine this familiar scene: It's 7:48 p.m. The rice is burning on the stove. A baby cries in the background. A woman has just logged off from a full workday only to immediately begin her second shift in the kitchen. Meanwhile, her husband relaxes in the living room watching football. This scenario represents the daily reality for countless Nigerian families, where domestic labor distribution remains heavily skewed along gender lines.
Aladese articulated what many women have felt but rarely expressed publicly: "Why can't a man wash a plate? Why do we keep perpetuating these gender stereotypes? A woman will cook and wash plates, and the man will just work. But women also work. We go out there; we hustle just like them. Why is it that the moment we come home, it's the woman who has to do everything?"
Historical Context and Modern Disconnect
For generations, Nigerian households operated under a clear social contract: men provided financial stability while women managed domestic affairs. This arrangement was presented not merely as practical but as morally correct. A "good man" brought home money, while a "good woman" built the home around that financial foundation.
However, historical examination reveals that Nigerian women have always carried multiple burdens. Our foremothers worked alongside their husbands on farms, traded in markets, and still managed household responsibilities. The crucial difference today is that modern Nigerian women often earn salaries, run businesses, contribute significantly to household expenses including rent and school fees, and sometimes even out-earn their partners.
The fundamental question Aladese raises is this: If both partners leave home at 7 a.m. and return at 6 p.m. after full workdays, why does only one of them automatically begin the "second shift" of domestic labor?
The Language of Inequality
Our vocabulary reveals much about our underlying assumptions. When men participate in household chores, we say they "help" with the kids or "help" with laundry. This terminology implies that the primary responsibility belongs to someone else—typically the woman. Meanwhile, women are described as "taking care" of the home, suggesting ownership of domestic duties.
This linguistic distinction reflects a deeper societal issue: domestic competence is not biologically determined but culturally taught. Girls are systematically trained in household management from childhood, while boys are often excused from these responsibilities. The result is a generation of adults who enter relationships with vastly different expectations and capabilities regarding domestic labor.
The Modern Nigerian Man's Contradictory Expectations
When asked about their ideal partner, many Nigerian men describe wanting a financially independent, career-driven woman who can "hold her own." Simultaneously, they expect this same woman to be exceptionally domesticated, nurturing, and homely. This creates an impossible standard where a woman's professional achievements become secondary to her performance of domestic servitude.
The uncomfortable truth is that tasks used to measure a woman's worth in marriage—cooking, cleaning, and home management—are billion-naira industries where men excel professionally. In restaurants, cooking becomes culinary excellence; in hotels, cleaning transforms into operations management; in corporate settings, domestic skills translate to facilities leadership. Yet within marriage, these same activities are often dismissed as merely "what a good wife should do."
Generational Shifts and Changing Attitudes
Many women of younger generations are reconsidering marriage and motherhood after witnessing their mothers' exhaustion and the systemic imbalance in domestic responsibilities. The recent case of a nursing mother who left her newborn with the father highlighted this disparity when the husband took to social media to lament the difficulty of combining childcare with his job—a challenge women have historically shouldered silently.
Aladese's comments have touched a nerve precisely because they articulate the quiet frustration of millions of Nigerian women who navigate this double standard daily. The issue isn't housework itself—cooking, cleaning, and childcare are valuable, essential tasks that keep homes functioning. The problem lies in the unequal distribution of these responsibilities and the societal perception that they naturally belong to women.
Toward a More Equitable Future
The conversation Aladese has ignited goes beyond who washes dishes. It challenges us to examine why shared domestic responsibility still feels like generosity rather than baseline partnership in many Nigerian homes. As the country continues to modernize economically and socially, this debate forces us to confront whether we're practicing selective progress—embracing gender equality in workplaces while maintaining traditional roles at home.
Ultimately, the question isn't whether men can wash plates, but why this remains a topic of discussion rather than an accepted norm. As Nigeria moves forward, the hope is that more households will recognize that true partnership means sharing both financial responsibilities and domestic labor, creating more balanced, sustainable relationships for future generations.
