Husband Seeks Divorce Over Wife's Insults About His Manhood and Physical Abuse
A 44-year-old man from Lusaka's Maichola, Kabanana Compound in Zambia has taken his wife to court, seeking a divorce after enduring years of emotional and physical abuse. Cletus Sambondu presented his case at the Matero Local Court, detailing a marriage that deteriorated from initial harmony to constant conflict and disrespect.
Allegations of Abuse and Insults
Cletus Sambondu married 35-year-old Anna Tembo in 2022 after paying approximately K4,000 as dowry. He described the early days of their union as peaceful, with regular intimacy and a loving relationship. However, within a year, the situation changed dramatically. Anna began refusing sexual relations, explicitly telling him his manhood was too small and that he smelled unpleasant.
"We married in 2022 and everything was going well," Sambondu testified. "In early 2023, she started refusing to sleep with me. She would beat and insult me in the presence of my stepchildren. Whenever I called people to help reconcile us, she would beat me after they left. There has never been peace at home."
The husband further alleged that his wife's behavior escalated to physical violence, with beatings occurring frequently during disagreements. He reported that her love was inconsistent, fluctuating between affection and hostility. Despite involving their families in attempts to mediate, no resolution was achieved, leading Sambondu to file a police report against her at one point.
Additional Claims of Disrespect and Theft Accusations
Sambondu expressed concern for his safety, stating that the abuse extended beyond his wife. "Sometimes my stepchildren would also join their mother in physically abusing me whenever we had a fight," he revealed. "For my safety, I have decided to leave this marriage. Her three children have stopped respecting me. At one point, she even accused me of being a thief in my own house."
He emphasized that the lack of respect and constant turmoil made continuing the marriage untenable, prompting his decision to seek a legal divorce through the court system.
Wife's Counterarguments and Admission
In her defense, Anna Tembo admitted to denying her husband conjugal rights and physically assaulting him, but she provided a different rationale for her actions. She claimed she began beating Sambondu after catching him masturbating while watching pornography on multiple occasions.
"I started teaching him a lesson after I found him playing with himself while I was sleeping beside him," Anna explained to the court. "Another time I found him doing it in the toilet, then in the kitchen. I would find sperm on the bed sheet even when we hadn't met at night. One day, I found him using Vaseline and releasing on a towel."
She further accused her husband of being a drunkard who drank excessively daily and missed work for extended periods, sometimes three to four months at a time. Anna also criticized his behavior, stating, "He spends all his time on the phone. We never talk. When he enters the bedroom, all he does is watching blue movies. There is no time to discuss anything."
Despite these allegations, Anna informed the magistrate, Harriet Mulenga, that she still wished to continue the marriage, expressing a desire to reconcile rather than separate.
Court's Decision and Ruling
After reviewing the evidence, including an audio recording where Anna was heard insulting Cletus, Magistrate Harriet Mulenga ruled in favor of granting the divorce. She determined that the wife was the primary issue in the marriage, citing a profound lack of respect.
"There is no respect in this marriage. No matter what, you cannot cooperate," Mulenga stated. "We have heard of marriages where women beat men. If you respected him, he would not have resorted to masturbation. It was also wrong of you to slap your husband. There is no way you can tell your husband that he has a small manhood and expect him to have confidence with you. That is why he plays with himself, he has lost confidence."
The magistrate emphasized the importance of respect in marriage, questioning, "Respect is cardinal in marriage. How many times will you get married?" She concluded that the relationship was irreparable due to the wife's actions.
As part of the divorce settlement, Magistrate Mulenga ordered Cletus Sambondu to pay K500 monthly maintenance for the couple's one-year-seven-month-old child. She also mandated an equal division of household goods and ruled that no compensation would be paid to either party, finalizing the dissolution of their four-year marriage.
