A businesswoman has shared her perspective on what truly makes a marriage happy, using her own marriage as an example. She stated that doing everything to please your partner is not the key to a happy marriage, nor is submission. Instead, she believes the foundation lies in two kind, properly brought-up, and mentally sound individuals finding each other.
She wrote: 'The key to a happy marriage isn't doing everything to please your spouse or submitting like sugar dissolving in water. The real key is for kind, properly brought-up, and mentally sound individuals to find each other and marry. You'll never have to try too hard.'
Personal Examples from Her Marriage
She shared instances from her own life to illustrate her point. 'I've done things that, if it were with koromoto men, the marriage would have ended long ago. So I'm not married today because I'm perfect or do everything right—I'm married because I chose someone mentally sound and, may I add, properly brought up.'
She emphasized the importance of mindset: 'The mindset of an individual is the most important aspect. Once the mind is broken, nothing you do will be enough. You'll keep working yourself to please the other until you break down. And this isn't even a gender thing, both men and women sometimes overstress themselves just to make marriage work. It's not supposed to be that way.'
Examples of Mutual Consideration
She recounted a time after giving birth: 'We were supposed to go home, and my husband knew it was right for him to come get me, he had planned to. But an urgent meeting at work came up, so he called his sister, who is also a serious career woman, to pick me up. She called, and I told her, “Madam, don't worry.” Before she will even make the plans, I got our office driver to take me home. My husband came back feeling weird, like, “I should have…” I told him, “Nonsense, you didn't need to.” No drama, no scenes.'
Another example involved her noticing her husband wasn't eating well. She decided to make food for him to carry. One evening she prepared everything and asked him to wake her when he was about to get ready. She woke up to find him knotting his tie, about to leave. When she questioned him, he replied, 'Roberta, you know I'll never wake you up too early to make me a meal. Why should I wake you up? Any day you wake up on your own, that's the day you should make it. Any day you can't wake up, it means your body isn't ready for that stress, and I don't want to eat from such stress.'
She concluded: 'It dawned on me that we're just the type who don't like to stress each other. If you're putting in too much effort just to be loved, you'll eventually wear out. And when you can't keep it up anymore, the union will naturally give way.'
