By Kobor Amos | June 6, 2026
Bishop Charles Ighele, General Superintendent of Holy Spirit Mission in Lagos, has issued a strong warning to couples who use the phrase 'that is how I am' to justify negative behaviors. He says this attitude is a sign of immaturity and can destroy a relationship.
According to Bishop Ighele, many spouses react defensively when confronted about bad habits. Some women flare up at the slightest correction, claiming it is a family trait. Some men shout and raise their voices, insisting that is just how they are. Such responses, he explains, only undermine the relationship rather than building it.
The cleric emphasizes that both husbands and wives should recognize the opportunity to improve and become better partners. When a spouse points out a harmful habit, it is a sign of love and concern. Instead of making excuses, the partner should take responsibility and work on changing that behavior.
Bishop Ighele advises couples to stop using expressions like 'that's how my anger is' or 'that's how I keep quiet when I am angry.' These phrases, he says, can covertly damage the relationship. He encourages spouses to thank their partners for pointing out flaws and promise to change as soon as possible.
If changing a habit proves difficult naturally, Bishop Ighele suggests seeking help from the Holy Spirit, a pastor, or a marriage counselor. He concludes with a message of love and encouragement for all couples to strive for continuous improvement.
