A Nigerian woman, Udochukwu Favour Osinachi, has spoken out against deeply ingrained societal gender roles that place childcare solely on mothers. In a Facebook post, she recounted how she and her husband are often judged when he carries their baby in a carrier during evening strolls.
Judgment and Stares
According to Udochukwu, people stare, murmur, and cast judgmental looks. Some even tell her husband to give the baby back to her. She noted that some men praise her husband for being a 'good man' simply for carrying his own child.
Shared Responsibility
She emphasized that a child belongs to both parents and raising them should be a shared duty. She wrote, 'Whenever we decide to take an evening stroll and my husband carries the baby in the carrier, I notice the stares, murmurs, and judgy eyes.'
She added that some people are bold enough to say, 'Give the baby to the mother naa.' One person even said loudly, 'All these new generation mothers sef.' Some men will go ahead and hail him, saying, 'You are a good man, this one is fair sef.'
Father's Bonding and Duty
Udochukwu expressed appreciation for her husband's help but questioned people's attitudes toward a father carrying his own child, bonding with the child, and doing his duty. She clarified that he was not forced or coerced; he wanted to do it as a father.
She humorously noted that if she revealed that at night she only breastfeeds while he soothes, swaddles, and does baby care, people might want to strangle her.
Parenting as Teamwork
She concluded by stating, 'No, it’s not just the woman’s child; it’s OUR CHILD. His child, my child! Maybe we need a trumpet to sound it that parenting is teamwork.'
